THE BERNINATOR

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geekscoutcookies:

youandmeforeverfriends:

peskytimepirate:

freelanceplatypus:

did-you-kno:

Source

Dude. This means that your name and address could have been in Dumbledore’s office.

How do you think he knew where to send the Hogwarts acceptance letter? Magic?

reblogging for the A+ comment

BINGO

youandmeforeverfriends:

peskytimepirate:

freelanceplatypus:

did-you-kno:

Source

Dude. This means that your name and address could have been in Dumbledore’s office.

How do you think he knew where to send the Hogwarts acceptance letter? Magic?

reblogging for the A+ comment

BINGO

(Source: did-you-kno, via effyeffa)

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_{Canadian Screen Awards 2014 (x)}

(Source: cosimacormier, via tatasmaslany)

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ob meme || [29/7] funny moments

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(Source: whenspeakingof, via romanumeraltwo)

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(via thankcheesus)

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bathingwithlucifer:

literally representation of society

(via jessthatawesome)

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(Source: lostshow, via lostaway)

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note-a-bear:

ghostieonfirst:

ok please watch this vid of my perfect former street cat eat. will not disappoint I promise.

it’s just shoveling food into its mouth
this cat is actually a cat I would probably like

(via jessthatawesome)

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yungbara:

bless gloria

(Source: patrickmasturbateman, via kuhdejuh)

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～

(Source: ladypondz, via stilinchesterr)

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randomnessosityism:

NOW THE NIGHTMARE’S REAL

NOW DOCTOR HORRIBLE IS HERE

TO MAKE YOU QUAKE WITH FEAR

TO MAKE THE WHOLE WORLD KNEEL

AND I WON’T FEEL

a thing

(via kingsimius)

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In which my dad learns about purses and jeans sizes.

My dad:	Your sister's crazy. Who'd want a $200 purse?
Me:	She does.
My dad:	What is it with ladies purses, anyway?
Me:	(glancing at my purse) What do you mean?
My dad:	How did that start--I mean, why do women use them? Doesn't it get tiring carrying a bag around all the time?
Me:	(stands up and turns around) See those pockets?
My dad:	... Yes?
Me:	What can I fit in them?
My dad:	What?
Me:	How many things do you think I could fit in my pockets? Honestly. How many things?
My dad:	Doesn't look like you could fit much.
Me:	A pack of Orbit, some folded bills, and that's about it. That's why we use purses--because we can't carry our shit in our pockets like you do.
My dad:	But I can fit my wallet, my keys, and my cigarettes in my pockets!
Me:	And your jeans also fit the way they should.
My dad:	I'm almost afraid to ask, but what do you mean?
Me:	Your jeans are sized by, what, your inseam and waist, right?
My dad:	... Aren't yours?
Me:	I'm a size 3.
My dad:	3 what?
Me:	No, just a 3. A size 3.
My dad:	What does that mean?
Me:	I actually have no idea. I'm a size 3 in these jeans. In some other jeans, I'm a 5. I'm a 7 in my favorite pair of shorts.
My dad:	Wait, it's not the same?
Me:	Nope. A size 3 in one brand's jeans is completely different from a size 3 in another brand.
My dad:	That's fucking stupid! How do you shop for them?!
Me:	With great difficulty. This is why when you ask me what I did during the week and despite the fact I know you won't care I sometimes tell you I found a pair of jeans. Because finding a pair of jeans that fit and fit well is like finding the Holy Grail with your name encrusted in diamonds on it

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1-enoch:

last night i was absentmindedly toying with something on the kitchen counter while i was on the computer and when i looked down i realized it was a cockroach. i was petting it. i was petting a cockroach and the cockroach was sitting there probably really enjoying it. we had a moment. you know that thing of when two straight guys accidentally do something gay and then they freak out when they realize whats happening well it was exactly like that

(via jessthatawesome)

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